Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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