4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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