You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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