I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
