how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
