My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
