I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
