so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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