garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
