p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
