I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
