I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
