i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
