3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I cannot find my penis.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
