We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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