i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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