You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
