3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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