Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
