I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
