I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
