I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
