It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
