Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
