Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
