Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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