I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
