Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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