More tranny stories later!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
