yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
