you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
