My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
