I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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