No awkward lesbian experiences without me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
