I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
