i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
