Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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