That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
