what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
