So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
