I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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