you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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