Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
