Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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