my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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