Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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