I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
