I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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