Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
