why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
