can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
