We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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