I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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